29

Ohhhhh 29!!!

I have been anticipating your arrival for the last while, I was awaiting the ability to get rid of 28. 28 came in with a bang, a night of high spending and lavishness to a year that was marred with broken bones, dwindling bank accounts and well not much else to say.

My girls just kept getting bigger, my sleep less and less and my time for my self non existant. I don't know what hold on me 28 had but it was one of meakness, with disregard and no self control to get myself out of my looped perverse notions of what was going on around me.

Not a twisted mind as it might read, but I suffered from severe rut for the last year, and it was a rut that wouldn't be easy to climb out of. But 29 has been here 5 days and so far so good. I feel renewed!

I am a numerological nerd too... and 29 is a year 11 or should I say 2; and that means this is a year for personal change for me, and change from the last year is exactly what the doctor ordered.

I have already seen the change, the mood, the enthusiasm! I have seen the gusto, the perseverance and the drive. And I am truly loving the self evaluation and confidence.... and I smile at their arrival. Where years of being an emotional pushover and tending to others whims and wants I somehow rightfully know my place and my self worth. I embraced my empoweredness and really smile at the life that is ahead of me with humility and grace. Because 29 might be the half of 58, it might be shy of 30 but to me it's 29 years of growth, 29 years of moments that will not define me but be lessons to how I am better and stronger than ever before.

I turned 16, 18, 19, 21, 25 and never felt excited! All those milestones came and went, all those moments of things I can or cannot do just really didn't seem to please me, they never made me feel better or worse about the life I had and they never said things would be different because of them. But 29 speaks volumes... a mom of 2 with confidence and drive! You don't get that when you get your drivers license, you don't get that when you can play the lotto or vote, not when you can legally get alcohol, when you know you can drive south and drink anywhere in the world or when turning the true age of adulthood. I look back and mock those years and what people have touted them as so grand or wonderful.

I am 29, so proud, so illustrious.... and let me tell you looking forward to the big 30; but for now I am going to soak in 29 and take in all the wonderful it has in store for me. 29 bring it ON!~

Sleep, what's that?

The title says it all... my nights are restless and are going to get worse. I am not one of those people who needs a full night sleep every night, who would rather sleep in than anything else... on the complete opposite... I strive on little sleep... I am never really tired and well I like to stay up late hours.

But I can't keep my youngest out of my bed and because of it, I no longer sleep in it. I chose not to sleep in it because I am the lightest of sleepers as is my daughter, I can not have her touching me, talking to me or crying beside me and fall asleep as my husband does. I need quiet and peace to fall asleep and stay that way. Snoring has become something my body won't allow me to ignore if awake but can tolerate once sleeping. My light sleeper though can't have me moving her when she is kicking me in the ribs or caressing my arm or any other form of skin she can find under the covers.

So I get up, and out of my bed head over to my knocked out hard daughter who doesn't realise her sister was wailing beside her in the crib next to her. So sleep has become a luxury I don't get... which is why we invest in socks (LOL)! I am looking forward to sleep again one day.

A new luxury...

It's cold outside here, winter feels like it might have come early here.

Winter evokes thoughts of cocoa, throw blankets, warm fires, spiced baked goods... and cold feet. I don't own a pair of boots that I care to own, I never buy a new pair because it doesn't matter the fashion trends of the year they all remind me of witches shoes. So low flung running shoes and high heels with openings are usually my shoes of choice.

But that wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't sock less... yes you read that right without socks I like to roam, snow, sleet, and slush; if you ever had the chance to share in my presence you too would know I am the most anti-sock human being you'll ever meet. But this week I did the unthinkable for myself... I bought socks!!!

Socks are important in my household, my daughters are like I; they don't care to wear socks while roaming the house, we may have slippers on but no socks. Socks is something that goes on just before the shoes do to go outside. I have to buck up and be the bigger person and wear socks as I find them cumbersome and suffocating if you can believe it; and for reasoning with my children to get their socks on it would help if when they look down they notice that mommy is wearing socks just like daddy does.

So for this first winter I will not be walking around sock less in my Pumas, I will be wearing.... prepare yourself, LUXURIOUS SOCKS.

Well they say go big or go home, if I have to put these awful one hole tubes on my feet, cover my already warm feet so they get over heated in any material this won't be the kind of socks that come out of a bag of 12 or 20 pairs, they won't be cheap or bought on the fly. They aren't socks they are luxurious socks, they even have a special tag that marks them this way, made with angora and cashmere, softer than cotton balls... sparkly with bows, like a fine sweater, a texture that evokes warmth and goodness.

4 pairs in total were purchased, a beautiful camel coloured pair of Liz Clairborne socks with a speckled sparkle that is most likely woven in the yarn and a great little velvet bow, a fantastic

oatmeal coloured Ellen Tracy (2 luxury labels adorn these) with a fantastic ribbing and an angora and cashmere blend that is to die for... and a set of knee highs that are slightly reminding me of a friend I had in high school who you couldn't get out of dresses and knee highs, that are black anti-bacterial and made of bamboo... love fashion ingenuity and that I had learnt about the newness of bamboo over 4 years ago and that it finally has trickled down to the most mundane of socks.

So if you see me walk down the street and I have a different step, a little more bounce and a warm smile... it's because my feet are in a chalet in the Poconos, enjoying the snow from a fireplace crackle filled room, sipping on hot cocoa with marshmallows while Perry Como is playing in the background. Smile with me... what is the last luxurious item you bought yourself?

December!!!!!!!

December is the craziest month in our household... not just because we are decorating and having people over. It's our everything month.

Both M & I are Sagittarius', meaning we have our birthdays just days apart... but a great deal of our closest friends are also Sags. We have our parties to think about, everyone else's birthdays to think about, Christmas parties, Christmas related events... and the list goes on and on.

I love December but because of the hustle and bustle of this month, Christmas wanes in the background not getting the attention it highly deserves and really falls down my totem poll of favorite holidays because I just plain don't enjoy it. I enjoy the side bits... making cookies, baking, decorating, the trees, the shopping... when do I ever not enjoy the shopping; but when the day finally rolls around I am not feeling festive or enjoying the day as much as I would love to.

This year I turn a big ol 29.... one more year and I will have hit 30, a leap into completely adulthood, a milestone as any. If you know you mean that is a year I plan on making this largest splash and am working towards it. You can follow that portion along at http://www.runningfor30.blogspot.com/

Usually though for our birthdays since they are a whole 3 days apart we usually throw a birthday party together, invite all of our closest friends to our house, have drinks and hors d'oeuvres and just have a good time of it. Last year we went out to a "local"spot and payed for the drinks and having been feeling the sting since. We are in full on debate mode here about what is to be done this year... I'd rather to go somewhere on King St. and have a night of it, M disagrees because he wants to be able to have intimate conversation and stuff. So who knows what we'll do.

For those who are feeling festive I found a printable calendar in case you wanted something more festive to put up maybe make the little kiddies colour it and then hang it on the fridge with things marked down to do... I am going to be doing so this evening. Let me know what you are looking forward to this December.

Friends...

Ever since having my girls outings for me have become a distant memory. Getting all done up a luxury far beyond my realm, late nights an immeasurable distance, dates a word that doesn't pass my lips and friends well to hard to schedule hectic lives.

Don't get me wrong, none of this a complaint. I have been my biggest advocate in my ever growing family... my brood grown so quickly others heads spin, while M and I try and get a footing and have our own personal normal.

During the last couple of days I have experienced the joys that are my friends... girlfriends from my high school years came over with their significant others and a baby in tow. A lot has changed, experiences, area codes and life circumstances; but you know you are so excited when even in silence and moments of no talking you know this is the only place you want to be right now. That with all the days of no talking, the missed life moments no words need to describe how close we were and how we will always be.

Today I had another friend visit from a neighbour friend... someone you saw almost daily for other reasons from school, you don't share mutual friends and moving away is always something that tears you apart. But late nights sitting on a porch, stories that no one else understands, laughing about neighbourhood memories, kids at the park and things that we did in the part of the city we lived in.

Friends are great and for me a rare commodity I really can't get enough of. Being a mommy has put a strain on my schedule which has affected the times I get to share with friends... but when those moments come, when you get to share even the great moment of silence, you know that the person sitting in front of you only has your best interest at hand, only cares about you... not what you do, where you live or what you've acquired in your life time. I am lucky to call these people in my life my friends, hope you get to cherish your friends too- perhaps today is the day to do so. Call them up just to talk non-sense... reminding you and them that your friendship is made on a mutual bond of just caring.

Weight... no more wait!?!?!?!

It has now officially been 18 months since I have given birth to my youngest and there has been no change in my physical stature since.

I lost the gross amount of my 35 pounds weight gain right after the baby, it came off rapidly, most left when the baby came, I had 8 pounds to lose to get to the weight that the Dr. had weighed me at when we found out I was pregnant. I was though still 9 pounds heavier than when I had lost all the baby weight I had gained with my first daughter.

Last winter I had already thought about going on a diet, and I had... I had started a low calorie regimen, a full meal with all food groups being tackled. I had got a whole 10 pounds down in a month... not to hard as I think I might be on the heavier end of my physical scale for my height.

I had the energy to make healthy meals for myself, greens, lean proteins, brown rices... never missing a meal, completely emptying my house from carbonated crap (as I would like to now call it). I bought myself an elliptical machine because for years I have been suffering from burning calf syndrome... something that I really need to get on since I have been diagnosed since 2004 and really haven't made the effort to work on that or myself in general.

But as you all have been following I am in a search of bettering myself, providing myself with a reality that fits my emotional and mental portrayal of myself. I want to be the best me I can be and there is no longer pretending that the weight I am carrying currently is anything but a hindrance to my health, my longevity and providing my life and family with the most energetic and happy me there could be.

So here I go... follow me in my weight journey, I guess every once and a while I will update you all on my goals and my progress, it will be fun and it will be interesting... please forward me anything you think I might gain some knowledge from. I am always interested in trying anything that at the end of the day gives me a healthier me!