Reality Check!

I might have inundated you all with my talk about Happiness Project where the slight mention might bring some of you to want to tell me to get on with it.

Being a mommy was never a life shattering or BIG BANG kind of situation for me. I suffer from I am ME and this is a new addition to who I am. When I got married I was the first of my friends and did so with utter awareness that being married to my High School sweetheart would not change me for I was who I was the day before I was getting married I would be the same girl afterwards.

I always knew I wanted kids, the more the merrier to be honest. I live a lonely family life, don't get me wrong it's me and my sister and our relationship is oil and vinegar but we make good salad if you know what I mean. We are very different but love each other so. I have 2 cousins... that's it!!! Best part is I come from Greek family... but mine is not so big and fat. Having children meant having more than 2 so that there was always someone around for them.

But being Mommy inadvertently has changed me, or at least brought me back to reality. Of course we are adults and have adult responsibilities... but don't we have those without needing children to remind us so. I mean I understand working hard paying the bills, staying in on a Wednesday night because you can't find a babysitter and well you have responsibilities.

But children make your mental thoughts far different. They question your personal value in the world, because here you are fostering a life to be all they can be and mastering the world in a greater plain than you yourself have. So what is your Carbon foot print, how will you be remembered, what is your reality?

Last year I fell and broke my shoulder, in a hindsight kind of way, it was the greatest thing to happen to me and the worst (physical ailments that continue would be why so.) I had become somewhat a pathetic version of myself, someone I would have never envisioned myself to be. Tired, sleepy, unfed, mentally exhausted, physically burnt out... I continued to do well NOT MUCH with my daily life and really for my future as well. No I was NOT unhappy as people have asked me, I wasn't aware of my reality that I had caused.

This is why I started my blog, it was a place to come and write about me being a better me... how I want to change my exterior situations by tackling some much neglected interiors of myself. I let being Mommy get the best of me, I made everyone else the priority and forgot about little ol' ME!

So while you might have found me or my blog at least, you are taking the journey with me to find me and my wanted reality!

I think I got HIGH!!

Sometimes I wonder if I got into the right industry, sometimes I wonder if I am not really following the right career path.

What is a mommy of 2, who is not a sample size doing in the fashion industry? I am not tall enough and definitely don't look like a model, I can't begin to budget for Louboutins or Chanel with a mortgage and kids to care for in the city, I don't have a trust fund or a sugar daddy and I can't be seen nightly on the party circuit with a house to care for and a marriage to foster.

But I have been in the Industry for over 6 years, done a lot of jobs but don't hold a fancy title or make tons of money either. But after so many years I finally Event Produced my first fashion event of my own. While I was standing at the end of the runways in front of press cameras cuing the models to stop, be fierce and pose their little hearts out and then rushing them over to the rest of the catwalk... I think I felt my first ever work HIGH! It was honestly exhilarating, and it was something that brought an abundant smile to my face, nothing that I have ever felt before. It was a hectic event, the longest runway I have ever worked with or seen, I was hungry and tired.... but when I saw the first model reach me I was ON!

I am sure, when things are slow for me again, when I am trying to put together the next event and working my tail off I might question my career choice and the reality of me in this bleak industry but I haven't been able to wash off the high and exuberance, as for now I love my work, love what I do, love putting it together but love the end result most.

I think we should all experience this kind of HIGH!

Tickled Pink

I guess with this month of the Happiness Project is a focus on love and well I am the biggest known sucker of Pink, I spent a bit of time gazing away at Pink rooms. Are you silly in love with pink like me?

* All Images from Decorpad

Remember LOVE

{image for wehearit}

So month one down, and a personal success much acheived and a happiness that is starting to even affect my husband- he too seems more pleasant!

What a better way to get into the Chapter of February than that...

This month to be honest gave me slight heart palpitations. I am a stubborn soul, and a righteous one at that. All those who are extremely close would no I am not the one to put up a fight with. Quiet demeanour, loud and fun... exuberant and smiley, I don't like to be crossed or taken for granted because I truly love to give of myself. It's a personal satisfaction that I don't know many who feel the same when they do it.

So next level of the Happiness Project is upon me... and my DEAR husband wants to tag along and came up with a cute idea to write our objectives on the fridge for the both of us to follow along.

Let's see what we have to get through... or even what I have to get through, if he follows along that would be FANTASTIC, but this is my mission and I want to know that I am doing this for my overall happiness!

Quit Nagging: I am not sure that I do this or not. I wouldn't call myself a naggy person, but I know I repeat myself a hundred times in a day, pick up your toys, come in the kitchen to eat, get off your sister, pick up your toys.... I even do it to my husband- get the laundry, get the girls, change her diaper... I will try and not ask of many people to do things and if ask of something it will be done once and expected so. Not sure how far this might go with my daughters who are 2 and 3; so can I ask much of their attention spans. As for Gretchen's recommendations to create antinagging techniques one word signs to me isn't really a positive- it would feel a bit more like a bark or an order and I don't think M will take to it very well. I am goign to take time to appreciate the tasks that M does for me also.

Don't Expect Praise or Appreciation: I didn't realise this was something I suffered from til I read this part of this chapter. I guess it is nice to have people tell you how fabulous you are doing or how great something is. I wouldn't say I am a needy person and I definitely don't come off as one, but I think this is maybe where my source of irritation comes from, I get very scorned when I am not appreciated. And I am realising that I need to let go of that expectation from others, if I am to do something I want to it's because it's what I want to do. I am not doing it for them but for myself. So for me this is about my actions are my satisfactions and I am to do it for my personal need!

Fight Right: Ohhh this daring task... I find I am far more snappy since having kids, I am sleep deprived, time deprived, organised deprived and definitely not properly fed. All adding to my personal aggravation. I am going to eliminate conversations that might stir up an argument, cool a conversation I might see going into the wrong direction and just realise when something may turn into a heated discussion and BACK OUT! Now this will be a task for me, I love a good sparring match, a great debate... some friends of mine might find me highly boring because well we both enjoy a great debate every once and a while. But I am not going to get into anything heated with someone who I know won't be able to understand it's only a friendly debate and not all out war!

No Dumpping: Ohhh this one is going to be hard on me... but I can see why this might be fantastic way of lightening the mood in our household. I dump all of my problems, my worries and my concerns on my husband. Only because I want to get it off my chest, he is my best friend... but he doesn't deal half as well with the problems that I complain about as well as I do. I don't like how closed off he becomes, I don't like how mute and unhelpful his attention to the situation becomes and well it iritates me and makes things far worse. If I needed to vent I could find a shoulder to lean on or atleast a fantastic ear from a great friend who would be willing to listen. Or my new found best friend my diary. I wrote about it before, but I really am finding a great solice in writing into it every night when I am not exhausted. It really has brought me perspective!

Give Proofs of Love: If I ever wanted to bore you or really just make you nauseous with the romantic behaviour that was the courtship me and my husband had it was much, but it makes sense for why this is on the list of things to do. We were in such love with each other we showed each other constantly. And this is something that we should do to everyone. Small little things that show people you love them little events, little tasks and little gestures to show someone that you thought about them for that moment and that day. But I think this will be an easy task for me as long as I am not expect appreciation or praise for it in the end.

So jump in and tag along with the process, let me know how you are showing a bit more love around your household. Or even share a way that you ease tension around your neck of the woods, we all need to be reminded that the loving relationships are the most important ones that we have and they need to be nourished and fed like our plants, our working relationship and even bellies. So take time to show people they are loved and DON"T expect praise for it!

You got to work...

So I guess it was time that I discussed, what keeps me busy from the blog I love so dear and how else to I spend time with myself other than my daughters.

I am a venture kind of girl... I like getting knee deep in projects and working hard. Something most people gawk at me about. But I am not a one note girl, I can't see myself doing one task for the rest of my life, God forbid enjoy this one task if had to also.

I am a fashionista by thought and by training... I studied Fashion Photography in College, realised it wasn't fulfilling enough when I landed one of the most coveted assistant jobs in Toronto. Decided to go back to school after holding down a job that I didn't love but payed the bills well... and studied the Business of Fashion. One extravagant internship later, with credit on multiple pages of a magazine.

Then a baby appeared, by choice of course... a job in Production for an artist agency in Toronto. Getting event work on the side has gotten me my own event contracts to handle on my own. A weird foray into the world of events... more interesting the world of being your own boss and well a Mommy!

So info on the events I have been working on soon to come... but til then, I am posting about February in my Happiness Project before the end of the week. Imagining myself NOT NAGGING.... coaxing myself into believing it is possible!

How my project process is going?!?!?!

I have gotten all the way to Chapter 8, have taken a stop at reading any further because that chapter is a little heavy for what I want to get into.

But what and has transpired to date. It's been 16 days in... and I am genuinely happier than I was. Don't get me wrong, the book isn't the source of my happiness but looking to reach a happiness has altered my perception to attaining happiness. I am loftier, persevering and more interested in my personal belief in my SELF!

What does that mean. Some items on this list are harder to do than others.

Sleep earlier: if you know me you are saying... BAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! And they would be right. The night owl in me finds it hard to give up the utter silence in the house which allows me to get stuff done. But fighting with the idea that if I wanted my own time I would have to do it once the girls went to sleep was unrealistic and unfair to myself. I can ask someone to watch the girls for a couple hours, I can work or attempt to work and have my husband do something with the girls outside of the house for a bit. Which then allows me to do stuff. If have gone to bed earlier than other times some days, I am NOT as exhausted... allowing me to be happier!

Excercise Better: Well my elliptical machine needs a replacement power cord, so this much has not been better. I have done a few more excercises with my shoulder that I had been allowing to fall to the waist side. So this task is a work in progress of monstrous proportions!

Toss, Restore, Organise: I do feel uplifted. I leave my bedroom to be the last place I clean, the girls don't really go in there anymore, guests don't ever see it... I need the room for sleeping only. But the book just told me this was something I couldn't do anymore, the room has been redecorated, the furniture moved around. The clothing in drawers, the dresses and suits (my husbands) hanging beautifully in the closet. For some reason going into my room is far more pleasing and I don't feel regretful when I walk in there.

Tackle a nagging task: The room was one of them!!!! But my issues with tasks is a self doubt, a fear that cripples me from doing stuff or just getting stuff done. Not only do I just somehow realise that I can, I just do! I feel lighter and happier!

Act more energetic: This one for me has been HUGE! Everything has changed, I am a glorified PROCRASTINATOR, I patiently believed that things will get done and to be calm and relaxed, my husband a serial procrastinator made me worse and worse as the years went by. If I need something to get done I just do it myself. I don't ask for help unless I direly need it, and my just do it attitude has kicked in!

5 more days in this chapter and then we move on to the next chapter which is to focus on love, trust me there is plenty for me to work on there lately!

But if you are reading the book as I am... you can see that Gretchen has 12 commandments to adulthood. I have found my first commandment for myself... it's just do it! I might sound like a Nike ad but I feel like that is

So slowly I will be starting my own commandments... because there must be a set of scruples and personal beliefs that we all live to be. I think this is a real test to ones self... when I first read about hers the idea of coming up with my own seemed daunting and unattainable. Now I see them morphing into my personal reality.

See you at Chapter/Month 2!!!

Succumbing to cravings...

Sometimes a girls just needs Chocolate Pudding!

So I pulled out my box of Jello Pudding (yes this evokes images of Bill Cosby making a funny face and telling me about pudding), my glass bowl and my whisk... poured my milk into a measuring cup and TA DA!

I just had to, I think I feel guilty and then I just think I needed Chocolate Pudding!

Women Rule Oscar Style!

Sometimes I forget that I born during the generation that the gender we are born with doesn't create disadvantages or advantages for any particular reality other than physical stature and strength!

Oscars happened and now they have ended and I sit here, awed by the grace and gratitude of the speeches that came from Sandra Bullock and Kathryn Bigelow. Both so emotional and honest.

But today more happened than women getting awards, a glass ceiling has been broken. Women who feel that Directing is a Male favoured industry; who don't receive the praise or recognition for their craft. This is a proud moment for women, if I was someone in my past life I must have been a suffragette--- I would have burnt my bra with pride and honour and would do it again today if it ever needed be.

Don't get me wrong I like the Oscars for all the frivolous reasons most do, hey I studied Fashion. I watch for the dresses, some might call this sexist... but it's about the designers, the stylist (ohhh the stylists who fail their clients!!--- I know you saw Sarah Jessica Parker's dress tonight!)

Did you have a favorite moment of the Oscars? Favorite dresses?

My choices are Kate Winslet, Miley Cyrus, Marishka Hargitay, Rachel McAdams and Elizabeth Banks!

Happiness Thus far...

So 10 days since I last posted a comment or a post about the experience of my personal Happiness Project!

I am one of those readers, I have gotten through 5 chapters already but went through chapter one all over again to give myself a mental reminder of what the tasks are to be for the remaining 20 days as I do the first part (chapter/month) of this book.

In doing this little project I found myself reading others activity in reading this book and have joined a fantastic bunch of bloggers who eagerly are in the same mental space and looking to improve their levels of happiness! (Really is there anything better than that???)

I was gladly excited at the invitation I received from Elisse over at FurElisse, even more excited when Gretchen Rubin herself commented on my blog. I really can't begin to describe the joy this book has brought to me so far and it's only been 2 weeks since I got my little pudgy hands on it.

If you can't get a chance to get your hands on this book you really need to at least find the blog she does at the same time as writing the book, it really has the ability to open your senses to understand what you need for your happiness, what you have somehow allowed yourself to give up unwillingly and realising really what you want for yourself.

The great group of fellow HP Bloggers is:

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  The Blarkness Chronicles


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  You and Me and Lucy


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  Tangerine Lullaby


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  EllaJoe

and Fur Elisse of course!

We all have a journey and each of our journeys different from the others, but the great part of the fun of it all is we are in the journey together just trying to better ourselves! Here's to us!

Good Greek Girl... Fasting!

Others call it Lent- I call it Fasting!

Once a year the idea of fasting occurs to me, my Yiayia (grandma) was adamant about fasting for Easter but she was a very religious rolly polly Greek lady.

My first attempt at fasting happened on year in High School... easy enough my mother was not much of a cook in the house, food was not a family event where we all had to be at the table for some well planned meal made with love and affection. It was cooking because we needed to eat, she did it with shrugging but when push came to shove we ate around 9 pm.

The last time I fasted was the year I got married, I would have fasted the year after my first was born but was quickly pregnant with my second. After that well as you all can see that I am trying to figure out where I had lost myself.

So what does a good Greek girl fast for Easter, I am meatless for 40 days (it actually is a bit more than that)-- others go meatless almost vegan. I will give up eggs, milk and cheese the next week! My older Greek family members make fasting the most unglamorous occasion in the world... a bunch of stews with beans, cold salads, a lot of pasta and potatoes.

I am fasting in the modern Greek girl way... I am the queen of the stir fry. Easy and simple a ton of vegetables, seafood for a great source of protein and some rice. I don't use soy sauce because it's so high in sodium and we have a huge family history of High Blood Pressure I have ZERO signs of it, but I have been salt free (personally salt free, I put a really tad of salt to salt my boiling water, my food for seasoning and I salt my french fries before I fry them because that was something I learnt to do when I was in Greece (try it, truly a much more flavored french fry)

So while the idea of fasting makes most young people cringe, others make excuses of why they can or cannot do it because they believe it will affect their diet to a point where they won't be able to find something to eat.

I engage you to fast for the cathartic and cleansing feeling you are without meats for so long! It really is enlightening... and chances you will lose a few pounds doing so!

My recipe is fairly simple, I like my garlic and my onions as much as you like it sauté it before you put in the veggies.

Now sauté the veggies! This time it was simple broccolli, zucchini and red pepper (colour people focus on great colour) anything GREEN, once the colour is more vivid it's cooked enough after that point you really are losing essential vitamins.

Add Shrimps... best kept secret don't care what anyone says. Mercury scares are in big fishes, your shrimp is truly an incredible source of protein and really low in calories. My almost 2 and 3 y.o. eat them without any problem.

Put this on a small portion of boiled rice and presto an easy dinner simple and fast--- this can be added to someone who wants to avoid a red meat dinner a week.

Manifestations and Affirmations... OH MY!

I sat in front of a woman the other day and asked me what my affirmations were?

Without looking contrived or even constipated... dumbfounded I was but was attempting to uphold a sense of personal awareness that she was referring to.

I don't have any affirmations... didn't think I needed any! Am I manifesting what I want she continued. More lost than the first sentence, this conversation was leading to a reality I hadn't dealt with lately. You can only help yourself... and I was lost to the world of positive affirmations and manifesting the things I wanted.

Affirmations to me was something sixteen year old girls should say to themselves to feel beautiful and smart due to peer to peer pressure. But I didn't need to convince myself of who I am... I am MOI, I like MOI, I am happy with my choices and my circumstances. Manifesting something also appeared foreign to my situation. Manifesting meant causing an upheaval of change, I didn't need change perse I wanted comfort in my materialistic life.

But I had started on the Happiness Project, I had come to terms with my fear of failure.... and what had I learnt. That I wasn't projecting my goals; that my thoughts weren't direct. Asking for the universe to provide you with Happy didn't mean much would change but I should be happy. Phoniness seemed unavoidable if nothing was going to change, and I realised the change was for the better.

I was assuming my goals of wealth and happiness wasn't more than wanting to go shopping in the mall for a shirt... but no detail. I would be in there the whole day looking for a shirt that I wasn't sure I wanted or not. The shirt needs to be casual, formal, or fun. It needs to have short sleeves, no sleeves or long ones. I needs to have something on the front, a print, a pattern, a shape, bedazzled, stitching... what do I want?

I realise I settle well... I am pleased easily! But because I wasn't not bother by things I was not looking towards anything either.

So I am manifesting now... I am looking towards my personal affirmations and realising that I can have wants, I can have expectations, I have goals and dreams that are only as lofty as I can believe them to be. I am the author of my destiny... time to write down the table of contents of my life, working on making my life worth reading about!