You got to work...

So I guess it was time that I discussed, what keeps me busy from the blog I love so dear and how else to I spend time with myself other than my daughters.

I am a venture kind of girl... I like getting knee deep in projects and working hard. Something most people gawk at me about. But I am not a one note girl, I can't see myself doing one task for the rest of my life, God forbid enjoy this one task if had to also.

I am a fashionista by thought and by training... I studied Fashion Photography in College, realised it wasn't fulfilling enough when I landed one of the most coveted assistant jobs in Toronto. Decided to go back to school after holding down a job that I didn't love but payed the bills well... and studied the Business of Fashion. One extravagant internship later, with credit on multiple pages of a magazine.

Then a baby appeared, by choice of course... a job in Production for an artist agency in Toronto. Getting event work on the side has gotten me my own event contracts to handle on my own. A weird foray into the world of events... more interesting the world of being your own boss and well a Mommy!

So info on the events I have been working on soon to come... but til then, I am posting about February in my Happiness Project before the end of the week. Imagining myself NOT NAGGING.... coaxing myself into believing it is possible!

How my project process is going?!?!?!

I have gotten all the way to Chapter 8, have taken a stop at reading any further because that chapter is a little heavy for what I want to get into.

But what and has transpired to date. It's been 16 days in... and I am genuinely happier than I was. Don't get me wrong, the book isn't the source of my happiness but looking to reach a happiness has altered my perception to attaining happiness. I am loftier, persevering and more interested in my personal belief in my SELF!

What does that mean. Some items on this list are harder to do than others.

Sleep earlier: if you know me you are saying... BAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! And they would be right. The night owl in me finds it hard to give up the utter silence in the house which allows me to get stuff done. But fighting with the idea that if I wanted my own time I would have to do it once the girls went to sleep was unrealistic and unfair to myself. I can ask someone to watch the girls for a couple hours, I can work or attempt to work and have my husband do something with the girls outside of the house for a bit. Which then allows me to do stuff. If have gone to bed earlier than other times some days, I am NOT as exhausted... allowing me to be happier!

Excercise Better: Well my elliptical machine needs a replacement power cord, so this much has not been better. I have done a few more excercises with my shoulder that I had been allowing to fall to the waist side. So this task is a work in progress of monstrous proportions!

Toss, Restore, Organise: I do feel uplifted. I leave my bedroom to be the last place I clean, the girls don't really go in there anymore, guests don't ever see it... I need the room for sleeping only. But the book just told me this was something I couldn't do anymore, the room has been redecorated, the furniture moved around. The clothing in drawers, the dresses and suits (my husbands) hanging beautifully in the closet. For some reason going into my room is far more pleasing and I don't feel regretful when I walk in there.

Tackle a nagging task: The room was one of them!!!! But my issues with tasks is a self doubt, a fear that cripples me from doing stuff or just getting stuff done. Not only do I just somehow realise that I can, I just do! I feel lighter and happier!

Act more energetic: This one for me has been HUGE! Everything has changed, I am a glorified PROCRASTINATOR, I patiently believed that things will get done and to be calm and relaxed, my husband a serial procrastinator made me worse and worse as the years went by. If I need something to get done I just do it myself. I don't ask for help unless I direly need it, and my just do it attitude has kicked in!

5 more days in this chapter and then we move on to the next chapter which is to focus on love, trust me there is plenty for me to work on there lately!

But if you are reading the book as I am... you can see that Gretchen has 12 commandments to adulthood. I have found my first commandment for myself... it's just do it! I might sound like a Nike ad but I feel like that is

So slowly I will be starting my own commandments... because there must be a set of scruples and personal beliefs that we all live to be. I think this is a real test to ones self... when I first read about hers the idea of coming up with my own seemed daunting and unattainable. Now I see them morphing into my personal reality.

See you at Chapter/Month 2!!!

Succumbing to cravings...

Sometimes a girls just needs Chocolate Pudding!

So I pulled out my box of Jello Pudding (yes this evokes images of Bill Cosby making a funny face and telling me about pudding), my glass bowl and my whisk... poured my milk into a measuring cup and TA DA!

I just had to, I think I feel guilty and then I just think I needed Chocolate Pudding!

Women Rule Oscar Style!

Sometimes I forget that I born during the generation that the gender we are born with doesn't create disadvantages or advantages for any particular reality other than physical stature and strength!

Oscars happened and now they have ended and I sit here, awed by the grace and gratitude of the speeches that came from Sandra Bullock and Kathryn Bigelow. Both so emotional and honest.

But today more happened than women getting awards, a glass ceiling has been broken. Women who feel that Directing is a Male favoured industry; who don't receive the praise or recognition for their craft. This is a proud moment for women, if I was someone in my past life I must have been a suffragette--- I would have burnt my bra with pride and honour and would do it again today if it ever needed be.

Don't get me wrong I like the Oscars for all the frivolous reasons most do, hey I studied Fashion. I watch for the dresses, some might call this sexist... but it's about the designers, the stylist (ohhh the stylists who fail their clients!!--- I know you saw Sarah Jessica Parker's dress tonight!)

Did you have a favorite moment of the Oscars? Favorite dresses?

My choices are Kate Winslet, Miley Cyrus, Marishka Hargitay, Rachel McAdams and Elizabeth Banks!

Happiness Thus far...

So 10 days since I last posted a comment or a post about the experience of my personal Happiness Project!

I am one of those readers, I have gotten through 5 chapters already but went through chapter one all over again to give myself a mental reminder of what the tasks are to be for the remaining 20 days as I do the first part (chapter/month) of this book.

In doing this little project I found myself reading others activity in reading this book and have joined a fantastic bunch of bloggers who eagerly are in the same mental space and looking to improve their levels of happiness! (Really is there anything better than that???)

I was gladly excited at the invitation I received from Elisse over at FurElisse, even more excited when Gretchen Rubin herself commented on my blog. I really can't begin to describe the joy this book has brought to me so far and it's only been 2 weeks since I got my little pudgy hands on it.

If you can't get a chance to get your hands on this book you really need to at least find the blog she does at the same time as writing the book, it really has the ability to open your senses to understand what you need for your happiness, what you have somehow allowed yourself to give up unwillingly and realising really what you want for yourself.

The great group of fellow HP Bloggers is:

• 
  
  The Blarkness Chronicles


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  You and Me and Lucy


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  Tangerine Lullaby


• 
  
  EllaJoe

and Fur Elisse of course!

We all have a journey and each of our journeys different from the others, but the great part of the fun of it all is we are in the journey together just trying to better ourselves! Here's to us!

Good Greek Girl... Fasting!

Others call it Lent- I call it Fasting!

Once a year the idea of fasting occurs to me, my Yiayia (grandma) was adamant about fasting for Easter but she was a very religious rolly polly Greek lady.

My first attempt at fasting happened on year in High School... easy enough my mother was not much of a cook in the house, food was not a family event where we all had to be at the table for some well planned meal made with love and affection. It was cooking because we needed to eat, she did it with shrugging but when push came to shove we ate around 9 pm.

The last time I fasted was the year I got married, I would have fasted the year after my first was born but was quickly pregnant with my second. After that well as you all can see that I am trying to figure out where I had lost myself.

So what does a good Greek girl fast for Easter, I am meatless for 40 days (it actually is a bit more than that)-- others go meatless almost vegan. I will give up eggs, milk and cheese the next week! My older Greek family members make fasting the most unglamorous occasion in the world... a bunch of stews with beans, cold salads, a lot of pasta and potatoes.

I am fasting in the modern Greek girl way... I am the queen of the stir fry. Easy and simple a ton of vegetables, seafood for a great source of protein and some rice. I don't use soy sauce because it's so high in sodium and we have a huge family history of High Blood Pressure I have ZERO signs of it, but I have been salt free (personally salt free, I put a really tad of salt to salt my boiling water, my food for seasoning and I salt my french fries before I fry them because that was something I learnt to do when I was in Greece (try it, truly a much more flavored french fry)

So while the idea of fasting makes most young people cringe, others make excuses of why they can or cannot do it because they believe it will affect their diet to a point where they won't be able to find something to eat.

I engage you to fast for the cathartic and cleansing feeling you are without meats for so long! It really is enlightening... and chances you will lose a few pounds doing so!

My recipe is fairly simple, I like my garlic and my onions as much as you like it sauté it before you put in the veggies.

Now sauté the veggies! This time it was simple broccolli, zucchini and red pepper (colour people focus on great colour) anything GREEN, once the colour is more vivid it's cooked enough after that point you really are losing essential vitamins.

Add Shrimps... best kept secret don't care what anyone says. Mercury scares are in big fishes, your shrimp is truly an incredible source of protein and really low in calories. My almost 2 and 3 y.o. eat them without any problem.

Put this on a small portion of boiled rice and presto an easy dinner simple and fast--- this can be added to someone who wants to avoid a red meat dinner a week.

Manifestations and Affirmations... OH MY!

I sat in front of a woman the other day and asked me what my affirmations were?

Without looking contrived or even constipated... dumbfounded I was but was attempting to uphold a sense of personal awareness that she was referring to.

I don't have any affirmations... didn't think I needed any! Am I manifesting what I want she continued. More lost than the first sentence, this conversation was leading to a reality I hadn't dealt with lately. You can only help yourself... and I was lost to the world of positive affirmations and manifesting the things I wanted.

Affirmations to me was something sixteen year old girls should say to themselves to feel beautiful and smart due to peer to peer pressure. But I didn't need to convince myself of who I am... I am MOI, I like MOI, I am happy with my choices and my circumstances. Manifesting something also appeared foreign to my situation. Manifesting meant causing an upheaval of change, I didn't need change perse I wanted comfort in my materialistic life.

But I had started on the Happiness Project, I had come to terms with my fear of failure.... and what had I learnt. That I wasn't projecting my goals; that my thoughts weren't direct. Asking for the universe to provide you with Happy didn't mean much would change but I should be happy. Phoniness seemed unavoidable if nothing was going to change, and I realised the change was for the better.

I was assuming my goals of wealth and happiness wasn't more than wanting to go shopping in the mall for a shirt... but no detail. I would be in there the whole day looking for a shirt that I wasn't sure I wanted or not. The shirt needs to be casual, formal, or fun. It needs to have short sleeves, no sleeves or long ones. I needs to have something on the front, a print, a pattern, a shape, bedazzled, stitching... what do I want?

I realise I settle well... I am pleased easily! But because I wasn't not bother by things I was not looking towards anything either.

So I am manifesting now... I am looking towards my personal affirmations and realising that I can have wants, I can have expectations, I have goals and dreams that are only as lofty as I can believe them to be. I am the author of my destiny... time to write down the table of contents of my life, working on making my life worth reading about!

Talking, Walking and Thought Process!!

I don't know what happens to me, what takes over my psyche and self doubt creeps in and takes hold to my thought process.

As you know, I am working on my personal walk thru The Happiness Project... it is for this reason I do so. It's for my personal search to figure out what takes over in my head, where it comes from and how to stop it or at least control it.

Wouldn't fathom to tell you it's voices (that thought makes me think of 1950's straight jackets) but it's more like an eternal dialogue that somehow plays itself out... it's like I know better, I want more I just can't get there. I keep trying but persevering to complete a task to feel an inner confidence about the decision and not reevaluating before it even gets off the ground.

I know I am capable... I have had that conversation with myself. Can I do this? Yes! Am I capable of doing the work this requires? Yes! Am I worth the results this can bring forth? Of course! What do you have to lose in trying your hardest and possibly succeeding? Nothing!! So then why don't you just do it? I DON"T KNOW!

This is a constant conversation in my head--- has been for years. Why don't you send that resume to a position you like? Why don't you pursue this? Why not this? Why is that? Why, why, why?????

I try and assume it's rearing... I always blame things on rearing... LOL! But my father was great at some things, he had no boys, staunch conservative and old fashion Greek man with no sons made his daughters to feel nothing but equality sex wise. I am no less than any man. And if you have ever been in a social setting with me you know this... hold my own no problem, any conversation I can partake in, no man intimidates me (this is probably why the majority of my friends in H.S. were guys)

But somewhere my self belief in the world as a whole gets lost... they say people fear success! How is that possible? I try and see myself like that, do you fear being successful? NO it's what I want.

I just had a light bulb moment as I typed to you all... love the cathartic relationship blogging has brought to me. I am not scared of success, I fear failure! I fear about going out there trying hard and coming back empty handed... but that is not good! I look forward to walking myself through that, acknowledging this feeling, this thought process and believe that life is about all the things you try and succeed and the ones you try and learn from your lack of success!

Time to relish the moments that life has to offer!~

Good Conversation

I sometimes can be a pain of a weird sense of melancholy with a smile on my face and then there are days like today where I vibrate enthusiasm, glee and sheer joy.

I am an easy girl to please all I need is good conversation!

Today I had the pleasure of getting out of my house for some great conversation and some mommy talking (this is when mommy's get together and just talk--- so needed when you are stuck at home a lot). A larger scaled playdate at my friend Julie's house, where my girls bombarded her house, but talked about networking, working and coping with husbands. Where watching our kids play and do is just as much fun as the rest of the conversation.

Once the girls were sleeping from their exhausting earlier part of their day, husband at home doing his thing... I went over to visit a neighbour mommy! Simple conversation and Olympic watching; such ease and simple girly girl conversation just being able to divulge and be honest. Refreshing!

I really do relish these simple outings, I am not wearing anything fantastic, we aren't solving world peace... but for the hour of sanity, for that moment when you realise you aren't the only one feeling something, reacting to something or just appreciating each others understanding of the lack of sleep that mommies suffer from and regrouping after birth--- it really doesn't get any better!

My Happiness Project!

I have embarked in the next phase of improving myself. Perhaps because I believe we are some kind of clay to be molded and only when we have reached perfection in self and understanding that we can move on to our next destination. But enough of my surrealism...

I am reading The Happiness Project, the excitement inflicted within myself on the idea of reading the book is almost unfound around here. It came to me in a little Chapters bag and delivered to me by a so loving father who was willing to go and pick it up for me because I was so impatient about having it he went without a question.

I have read my first chapter and even kept reading to the next 2, if I am engrossed in a book I can't be good and read slowly... I must forge ahead.

The first chapter titled January is the beginning of the quest... what can and be the catapult into a freedom that is happiness. Gretchen describes her book as her personal way... it works for Gretchen, I think this means it's up for interpretation and things can be reformatted for you and your personal life but the tasks at hand this month are:

1. Go to sleep earlier


2. Excercise better


3. Toss, restore, organise


4. Tackle a nagging task


5. Act more energetic

How these reflect my personal goals and what I plan on tackling each month (perhaps 3 weeks for me) because everything I read was that it takes 21 days of doing the same task to make it a habit... so here goes!

Go to sleep earlier--- this will be a task and a half for me, I am a night owl can't sleep unless I am exhausted and lap up the quiet time in my house to do everything from washing dishes to mundane tasks as checking my twitter acct, working on my blog and so on.

Excercise better--- to me this is avoiding it period... I tend to be lackadaisical about working out, if it happens it does it if doesn't well it didn't; but that is unacceptable feeling towards overall health. I need to take responsibility for my excercise regimen... so with my aerobic class I have added a belly dancing class as well. That make 2 classes a week... perhaps more energy that will make me to want to do more.

Toss, Restore, Organise--- if you know me I am incapable of letting go, every piece of clothing means a ton to me. I have a physical and emotional attachment to pieces when I was a teen I still haven't been able to let go of. Silliness you say... CORRECT! I have a girlfriend who has demanded I purge, it is happening this weekend. All of it, if I haven't worn it for the last 2 years I am ready to let it go. ( I hear you say 2 years, but hey I was pregnant for a great period of time so it's not cause I didn't want to, it's because I couldn't fit in it.)

Tackle a nagging task--- I have plenty and I would be in awe of meeting someone who didn't! I have a few on my list of things that just need to get done, they are big tasks that keep getting pushed and pushed because it's easier to get the small stuff in comparison done first, no more procrastination just getting er done attitude!

Act more energetic--- not sure what this means to Gretchen, to me it means just do it now. Why wait, why prolong, why say in a minute.... if you just do it, if you believe you have the energy to just do it now then do it! This is something I lack mostly because of example ( a name I will keep to myself) but if others are taking a easy approach then so will I. Something I need to let go of.

So are you reading the happiness project, will you be joining me along on this process...