Social Media Kids

I read a ton, actually I probably read more articles than anyone I know and it probably gets in the way of my productivity, but I digress... I read about what affects growing up in this generation and how lack of being kids; my kids will get to be because of the age of the Internet.

And then my children started asking for phones, because every kid in their new private school and their younger siblings had one. But I refuse to pay for a phone for children, who, if are not in my presence, are either at school or at home. So getting them a phone to reach me seemed redundant. But they have tablets at home which they get to use for fun. They play endless hours of Minecraft or Roblox if I don't notice. My eldest has taught my 2 youngest to play some Minecraft also.

But then they asked to download Musical.ly. I permitted it. They have occasional fun on it. They make silly videos and if you have kids they do the hands near their face dance moves even when not doing the videos. Which I keep saying if you are going to sing something can you sing it like you aren't on Musical.ly.

But then they asked for Instagram... and every parent I knew almost blew chunks at the idea that I let them get it. Like I crossed the parent threshold of permission and made my community of parents look down on me with such disdain. I don't have a quick quip on why it's OK for kids to be on Instagram... but prepare for it my kids DO NOT HAVE A PRIVATE ACCOUNT.

Ohhhh goodness, did I say that out loud. Yes I did. But do you skateboard? Let's say you do, did you put your kid on a skateboard before they could fully run? Maybe you did. Why because you believe yourself to be a skilled skateboarder and why not teach them early. Well the truth is I live on Social Media and my kids know I do. I run an account for my 3rd, I post and pick all the pictures... I have my own account here and I run my business account also. But I am active and have been since Facebook opened it's doors to non-University kids. My 3rd child was an active hashtag the year she was born and I will easily say the first baby to be live birthed on Twitter. #babydoings in case you want to look it up.

But I do social media... am I the best at it, no clearly not. But do I completely get it. Yes, should I be the one to teach my kids the weird ways it works, how they can connect with people online and how they can understand that not everyone is going to love every picture or comment on everything. But they clearly will encounter haters... which they saw me get my first just recently. You see all the time on social media how teens are being cyber bullied, and instead of hiding them from Social Media I plan on equipping mine with the faculties to deal with it head on and what are the expectations and realities of it. Also their account is open on my phone so I see everything they get before they have a chance to jump on their tablets.

So I am not here to tell you how much social media your kids should be exposed to... mine see a ton of it without them being on it from me. Ohhh and if you want to follow my 2 oldest on their adventure you can here

May it May!

May is always a kind of beginning month for our household... being from Toronto it is the start of better weather, when you start to plan new adventures and when our second daughter was born.

Now here in LA, it feels like a different kind of new. A relish in the difference. This is our first May here... We have gone into full assault into our business this month, not the month one usually works a product based business as Summer is about to come. But we feel anew, refreshed and a new vigour and purpose.

What does May mean to you?

What is in a name?

I am part of a group of Entrepreneurs on Facebook and recently someone asked if it's ok to be referred to as a #GirlBoss and a bunch of women went into a tirade of how they felt about the term.

And then as usual I couldn't sit idle and not comment. It is hard being a mother of girls... with all the new feminism taking over. It's ok to be a feminist like this, doing feminism like this... and trying to navigate how to make sure they are being raised without social tendencies that lessened them for being a girl.

And then I realised, what is in a name? Do we need to hate on names like Girl Boss, Lady Boss, She-EO, and whatever plethora of female related power terms there might be out there. While I am sensitive to the argument that we currently need to demand equality but the truth is at what cost?

But then I really can't get behind that thought... why? What about these names bother us?

Truth is we suffer from an inherited narrative that came from some social situation that has skewed the way we see the world. And we may never want to be called girl by a male peer because who is he to declare us a word that is seen as someone younger that 18.We may never want anyone to point out that we are females while we are making a deal of some sort.

But the women who coined these terms did so for a bigger reason. #Girlboss was coined by Sophia Amoruso after having launched Nasty Gal clothing, it changing the course of her expected work life and then writing a book about her raise to fame. Her first book was named  #GirlBoss... and currently you can even see the show bases on her life on Netflix as well. But most people know she became an overnight sensation at such a young age, maybe even a transitional age where she was an adult but hadn't prepare to do all the adulting she needed to do.

But what if  #Girlboss was meant everything she needed to say to herself to feel empowered. May she woke up in the morning and looked herself in the mirror and said today I will rock being a Girl Boss. And now other women see it, and it inspires them to be more or do more. The word, the title, the name now is multifaceted. It also gives the person who associates with it another avenue, another push or tilt into a direction that they might have been to afraid to pursue if it wasn't for the display

If it does that for 1 single individual, is it not perfect than for them. Should we not be encouraging people to be their best version and if it does, we all are extremely happy for their new ambition. At the end of the day my odds in my household is that some of my girls will not be able to assoiciate with the term. But maybe 1 does an she uses it to inspire herself to go for more and she finds inspiration where others don't.

Where have you been?

I love writing and sharing... and then I stopped. I didn't stop because I stopped feeling the loved; so where did I go?

I think I got lost where many women/mother's disappear to. I found myself in the abyss of not sureness. That place where you aren't sure what you are doing is of any interest to people, that the mundane collects all the creativity you have and hoards it deep inside your brain but refuses to let it go for others to see it.

It doesn't look the same on many people... actually it is the fact that it looks so different on so many women, which is why I was compelled to write about it.

We women do so much, we don't know how we get stuck with all the tasks we take on but sharing becomes far down on the totem pole. We clean, and cook, pay the bills, watch the kids, do fertility treatments, we try and get a better job, we try and get a degree and much more. And all in the attempt to just keep afloat we stop communicating and sharing.

I am guilty of just doing a social media dump of what I have been doing, here it's all out there for you all to see. But I am not talking to my best friends, not laughing and sharing,  And clearly I am not writing down any of my experiences either. 

I arrived in California confident that I was happy and had great friendships back home. Truth is I do, and I can only say that because being lost in my mundane mental hoarding, my friends have patiently stayed on the sidelines, expecting very little from me while I tread water. But then I ended up in Toronto again in January to which I found something... I clearly was missing the interactions of real conversations. 

We go to work everyday, talk to our coworkers in superficial communication, we parent and have very simple conversations just to keep the day running on schedule, and so on. I am guilty of being at home working with my husband... we talk so much about simple things we don't get to share much as our feelings and thoughts as often as we can, also we know what each is doing on a daily basis there isn't much to learn from each other. 

I just thought I would share it's OK to hide in the mundane, it's OK to go and find yourself or at least set the list of what you want and being in your head. But as some point coming out for a breath of fresh air and communication is truly what is needed. 

And with that I plan to share, and welcome all the engaging conversations from this moment on.