Where have you been?

I love writing and sharing... and then I stopped. I didn't stop because I stopped feeling the loved; so where did I go?

I think I got lost where many women/mother's disappear to. I found myself in the abyss of not sureness. That place where you aren't sure what you are doing is of any interest to people, that the mundane collects all the creativity you have and hoards it deep inside your brain but refuses to let it go for others to see it.

It doesn't look the same on many people... actually it is the fact that it looks so different on so many women, which is why I was compelled to write about it.

We women do so much, we don't know how we get stuck with all the tasks we take on but sharing becomes far down on the totem pole. We clean, and cook, pay the bills, watch the kids, do fertility treatments, we try and get a better job, we try and get a degree and much more. And all in the attempt to just keep afloat we stop communicating and sharing.

I am guilty of just doing a social media dump of what I have been doing, here it's all out there for you all to see. But I am not talking to my best friends, not laughing and sharing,  And clearly I am not writing down any of my experiences either. 

I arrived in California confident that I was happy and had great friendships back home. Truth is I do, and I can only say that because being lost in my mundane mental hoarding, my friends have patiently stayed on the sidelines, expecting very little from me while I tread water. But then I ended up in Toronto again in January to which I found something... I clearly was missing the interactions of real conversations. 

We go to work everyday, talk to our coworkers in superficial communication, we parent and have very simple conversations just to keep the day running on schedule, and so on. I am guilty of being at home working with my husband... we talk so much about simple things we don't get to share much as our feelings and thoughts as often as we can, also we know what each is doing on a daily basis there isn't much to learn from each other. 

I just thought I would share it's OK to hide in the mundane, it's OK to go and find yourself or at least set the list of what you want and being in your head. But as some point coming out for a breath of fresh air and communication is truly what is needed. 

And with that I plan to share, and welcome all the engaging conversations from this moment on.

Self-Help Silly, Self-Help Psycho or Self-Help Nerd?

Where do I begin....

I am slightly obsessed with reading self-help! Been for years but never read the right group of authors... and then last year I was brought the information about the Happiness Project!

I got the book the week it was released and after spending a few deteriorating mental health months due to my lack of mobility from my broken humerus (left arm) it was the right book the doctor ordered! I became enthralled, I even blogged about my chapters; but I was so engrossed in completing the book I read and read, months in advanced of my posts.

This book taught me that I was in charge of my own happiness... serious AHA moment here people, serious! Followed by the fact that I started reading Dr. Phil... I had another revelation when I picked up The Success Principles from Jack Canfield, that the realization that not just my

inner happiness can be affected by me and me only, but also the goals I make, the fruiting of my personal achievements and one of the major reasons that I got up the courage to run for City Council was the reality that I can talk the talk the talk for so long until I walk the walk... but since the elections I feel like I am at a stale mate with myself.

And then as I was sitting reading my twitter feed... Gretchen Rubin (Author of the Happiness Project) tweeted that she would be in Toronto for a meet and greet and a signing of her book! I had a ding-ding moment... how can I miss out on something so great! So alone, I went to the Indigo Book store in the Manulife Center. It was exhilarating! I got to meet someone who was the catalyst of the change I needed, the excitement continued and I walked over to the self-help section and just couldn't stop myself. Books were falling out of my arms, a wonderful helper at the Indigo ran over to meet; asked to help me... I was so appreciative! I sat in their Starbucks, coffee in hand trying to read the Table of Contents, Back covers--- all too good to part with. So in tow with 5 separate books, I left a satisfied girl!

And as yesterday was supposed to be Blue Monday; I went to sleep far happier than I had awaken that morning! Hope you did something great on your Blue Monday and that in life you are in a constant search of well... a Better you!

Cheers!