I might have inundated you all with my talk about Happiness Project where the slight mention might bring some of you to want to tell me to get on with it.
Being a mommy was never a life shattering or BIG BANG kind of situation for me. I suffer from I am ME and this is a new addition to who I am. When I got married I was the first of my friends and did so with utter awareness that being married to my High School sweetheart would not change me for I was who I was the day before I was getting married I would be the same girl afterwards.
I always knew I wanted kids, the more the merrier to be honest. I live a lonely family life, don't get me wrong it's me and my sister and our relationship is oil and vinegar but we make good salad if you know what I mean. We are very different but love each other so. I have 2 cousins... that's it!!! Best part is I come from Greek family... but mine is not so big and fat. Having children meant having more than 2 so that there was always someone around for them.
But being Mommy inadvertently has changed me, or at least brought me back to reality. Of course we are adults and have adult responsibilities... but don't we have those without needing children to remind us so. I mean I understand working hard paying the bills, staying in on a Wednesday night because you can't find a babysitter and well you have responsibilities.
But children make your mental thoughts far different. They question your personal value in the world, because here you are fostering a life to be all they can be and mastering the world in a greater plain than you yourself have. So what is your Carbon foot print, how will you be remembered, what is your reality?
Last year I fell and broke my shoulder, in a hindsight kind of way, it was the greatest thing to happen to me and the worst (physical ailments that continue would be why so.) I had become somewhat a pathetic version of myself, someone I would have never envisioned myself to be. Tired, sleepy, unfed, mentally exhausted, physically burnt out... I continued to do well NOT MUCH with my daily life and really for my future as well. No I was NOT unhappy as people have asked me, I wasn't aware of my reality that I had caused.
This is why I started my blog, it was a place to come and write about me being a better me... how I want to change my exterior situations by tackling some much neglected interiors of myself. I let being Mommy get the best of me, I made everyone else the priority and forgot about little ol' ME!
So while you might have found me or my blog at least, you are taking the journey with me to find me and my wanted reality!