To make a New Year's Resolution?!?!

The end of 2013 sent me in a tail spin. Telling you it felt hard to catch my breath with good news and bad intermixed would be an understatement.

So with an anticipation about what 2014 will bring, I might be nervous for the year ahead.

I had all these plans, good plans, complicated plans, challenges and goals that I had expected to do. My wrench in my plans have made me reevaluate a bit over and over again. Ohhh the mind is a horrible place when you start over thinking everything.

I want to focus on health... I think that will be a huge factor this year for me. While I tend to focus on a number or an obvious goal... This year my plan is overall health. The husband and I am vowing to go Coca-Cola free this year. And push more excercise into our lifestyle.

Business wise I want to push myself this year. I want to give it all I can. With a fairly awesome year and a half, I want to push the envelope, push the capabilities and see how much further I can soar. I have always been a big believer in if you cam believe it, it will happen. I have had an easier time doing so with my business.

And then personally, I'm going to stop apologizing for myself. This was a revelation I had at a mom event where fellow bloggers brought their kids. I tend to not bring them not because they aren't well behaved, please they genuinely are awesome, but because I feel I am burdening people. But why, I'm a mom of 3. I might put my hair in a bun because I had to change an extra shirt before leaving the house, but why do I need to explain or give people the excuse of the lack of fixed hair? So I'm not, anymore. I am me, how my day played out, my week played out is not a catastrophic mistake that I can't get a handle on but the reality of my functioning chaos.

I like chaos... I strive on chaos. And I love my chaos. So why apologize for my chaos.

So I hope you all find your resolutions with peace and it leads you to the ultimate 2014.

*side note if you are a Sagittarius, don't read any horoscope predictions they might make you want to take your own life.

Getting Festive with PC President's Choice

The holidays and holiday decorating has changed since having kids. It use to be a lot of sparkle and metallics, crystal and fine China.

But with 3 kids under 7 its hard enough to decorate without them breaking, misplacing, playing or redecorating with them.

I don't try and completely change the whole decor in our home as its mostly red based. So we decided to add some festiveness in our kitchen and headed over to Loblaws/Superstore to see what they had.

The selection of Christmas decor options was great, while my husband grabbed a pre-made meal, the girls and I picked out some fun stuff to add to our kitchen for the holidays.

We picked up some bowls and mugs, napkins, napkin holders and a table cloth for the round kitchen table. All pieces under $5. A great whimsical addition to our already established red decorations.

How do you incorporate Christmas for your kids?

~Cheers!

Mommy Monday: The Good Girl Prostitute.

"Sometimes it is not enough to do our best, we must do what is required-" 

Winston Churchill

Tonight as I was laying in bed with my daughter she had a revelation that she won't be using my phone for the next week because she and her sister got in trouble for 2 separate things. They get to use my phone to play the uploaded games, lately it's Subway Surfer they play and have been excited to have won a new character.

But as she was sitting there, I said the most annoying thing I think I have ever uttered. "Well why don't you do something really good in the morning and you can get to play on the phone again?"

And a plethora of thoughts started running through my head about parenting as of late. I hate parenting in the years 2000. Really I do. I hate hearing that my kid will moved ahead if they do put effort or don`t in school. That if I scold them to hard I am deemed to psycho mom. If my expectations are too high then I am causing undue pressure.

But as I said why not do something good to get to use the phone again, I felt like I just cheapened my daughters adulthood by tenfold. Now I am horrifically guilty of using the reward system as a bargaining chip to my favor. Do this for candy, do that for a new Lalaloopsy, do this for this and for that. Never did it phase me until the other day I turned to my elder daughters and said to them, we are a family and that means we are a team. If we work together we get more done. So why do I need to be bargaining to have them to do something. At school they get stamps and stickers for good behaviour, they get presents or snacks for doing something I want them to do.

But when is too much, too much? Why am I telling my daughter to do something that she might not have automatically done, it feels like a version of little kid prostitution. "Hi honey, do something mommy wants but you might not want to and I will reward you for doing so." Why reward? Why ask for good behaviour? This feels like a disaster waiting to happen. I am setting up my daughters to think they need to do stuff to get stuff in return. This is not the daughters I want to raise. I don't want them to think that they should do things for their boyfriends, their husbands, their bosses, their friends or anyone else to get stuff they want.

I think the mentality of things are only given to those who complete tasks or wants of other cheapens our society as a whole, it definitely cheapens our children's core value system. They need not be the prostitutes of our generation.

My girls are feisty and bossy. I don't pigeon whole the word. They can be bossy and they know it. I said to them the other day, "you are very good at being bossy, that's great, now it's time to also practice being a good team player." I want them to hold their own and not be wallflowers. I want them to command the room like their mother did, I want them to be independent and smart, I want them to be in control of their decisions and not to fall to peer pressure. I don't see how the reward system will yield the girls I want to raise.

I don't want to prostitute my girls core values and personal self beliefs into you are only as good as the reward you get from your behaviour. They are good people, because it is who they are, it's their value system they are protecting, fostering... they don't need anyone to pander to, they don't need a rich boyfriend to feel self value, they don't need to be constantly rewarded for being a good person. Because people who do will never do good for others that won't be able to reward them back.

So reward system is partially being removed from our house... because I want to raise just plain old Good girls!

~Cheers!

*this to me applies to girls and to boys equally*

New York, New York!

It's not often the husband and I get a chance to get away on a romantic adventure. Since launching our business we haven't gone on vacation as a family at all.

But last week a business meeting came up for my other business (Niki & Lola) and it was an opportunity I wasn't going to miss out on, my husband and I decided to take our only other vacation since having kids since our trip to Los Angeles.

Every minute of our day was scheduled, but in a way to spend some much needed time together and keep our trip affordable, we packed my baby "Holly", the lovely moniker for my very beautiful Buick Enclave that till last month was still under 10,000KMs. We set our sails for midtown Manhattan and left rise and shine early on Thursday morning. We took a nice route that took us through Upstate Western New York, through Pennsylvania, followed by New Jersey and then to NYC. Toll change in hand, Google map printed for visuals, GPS set. It was an exciting adventure.




Chicken Melt - Europa Cafe

Husband had never been to NYC before, it was thrilling to take him to my favorite place in the whole world. I was horribly nervous he was going to hate every moment of it. He sometimes describes Agoraphobia behaviour when discussing his reasons for not leaving the house in Toronto, how am I am taking him to the busiest place on earth.
We arrived later than planned, our mammoth Holly didn't fit in the Valet at the Hotel... so we went on a hunt through NYC to find parking. My last trip to the city that never sleeps I remember being able to find parking on the west side of Central Park. And we did, a nice underground run by the some really awesome parking attendants at 71st and Broadway.  We parked and Subway'd from 72nd to 42nd. We loved being in Midtown NYC, Time Square was under heavy construction and so the traffic wasn't as bad as it could have been. But we got hungry but the first evening in, we stopped and ate at Europa Café and had some pretty great sandwiches and some lemonade, ohhh and a pretty awesome red velvet cupcake that could make you blush.

By Friday morning we were in the full swing of meetings, scrounging around town looking for a Starbucks inside of the Trump tower and beyond. Ohhh the joys of Starbucks and the comfort that a Peppermint Mocha Latte presents when you are doing something that is completely out of your comfort zone. We chatted with the people over at Henri Bendel, followed by meetings with a PR firm, W magazine and Vanity Fair and all in between the many meetings we had seen Rockefeller Center (who knew the ice rink was open as of October), most of 5th Avenue, the Condé Nast offices, the Fairchild Building and we were getting hungry fast. What's a good Toronto foodie to do when in NYC, but of course a Food truck with the word LOBSTER written across it. At $16 a Lobster roll, the most priciest Lobster roll I've ever had was worth every penny in taste and flavour.


We got back to our hotel room to do some catch up, check in on the kids, make sure they weren't driving my mother crazy and off to Indochine a restaurant that was recommend to me by a very great Twitter friend. We had early reservations (not terribly early Toronto) at 7pm and we sat down with a fairly older crowd. But the food was fantastic and I was happy we went. The wait staff equally as good. I recommend the ribs, really really good.

After walking around Cooper's Union and seeing Greenwich Village, we grabbed a cab to take us back up town to get our car out of parking. Remember to know having your car parked in NYC will cost you anywhere from $40-$70 a day. Took the car down West Side Highway and headed down to Pier 17. I had to take my husband here, this little nook of perfection at the tip of Manhattan is my personal favorite, the cobblestone roads, the buildings of great wealth. We headed back to the hotel for what seemed like a very much needed sleep. Woke in the morning in search for a gas station, which we are now currently informed is much cheaper across the George Washington and to always be pumped in New Jersey, who also has a law about all stations are full service as consumers aren't permitted to pump their own gas. After getting gas in midtown we headed through the most stunning drive of the Upper West Side (I have never been before this trip). Headed for New Jersey to visit a girl friend. It was so very worth it ... all of it.

 

Made In Blog

Not often do I get invited to participate in any writing or blog awards. I'd love for your vote. Please go here.

A goulish of a good time!

Removed Angel Brick makes a good prop.

Halloween is a big deal in our house... Not so much because I love it but because it makes my husband so darn excited.

Our girls get to pick out their costumes early on in the season and my husband starts on the hunt of how to make our house as scary as possible. He gets so excited he becomes the bigger child in our house, and it's fun to watch him and the girls get excited about it all.

We never really celebrated Halloween in our household as a child, there were never crazy costumes made or decorations as my mom and dad didn't really make much ado about it all. My fondest memories of Halloween come from the awesome grade school teachers who let us have end of day parties where we decorated the classroom as much as our age group could and we danced and sang a lot of "C'est L'Hallowe'en" as we attended French school.

But we've amassed a nice collection of great Halloween shots from the front of our work in progress front porch. The front façade has had it's Angel brick removed, the porch completely remodeled and all that needs to be done is change the landscaping... but it has always left for a fun backdrop and made for a spookier back drop. ***please note the following pictures might be a little gruesome for some and don't keep looking if gore scares you***

Halloween 2009

Halloween 2010

Halloween 2011

Let's get Honest, Jessica Alba!

"We live in a different world than we did 30 years ago, they don't make products the way they use to." that was one of the reason mother of 2 and co-founder of Honest Company, Jessica Alba explained the reason she was compelled to start her own company.

Last week, I had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Alba. She was in town promoting and discussing in the most "honest" way why we need to be using products that are safer for our kids and ourselves in this generation being bombarded by chemicals every day.

Let's be honest we are all parents, we are so worried about what our kids are eating, playing, saying, learning and most of all what is touching their sensitive skin. Jessica Alba was recalling a story where her mom had recommended a laundry detergent for her to use when her first child was born and it caused Jessica to break out into a rash. This made her start the Honest Company.

With her lovely co-owner Christopher Gavigan they talked about 1700 different chemicals that you won't see in an Honest product. But they had us eating out of the palm of their hands when Christopher grabbed a baby that happened to be in the room. This wasn't a company feeding you script, they were actually parents who really enjoyed children. And it came off that way as well.

Jessica Alba more famously known for her roles in such films as Fantastic Four, happened to be of so genuine and polite. Exceptionally coiffed for a busy mom may I add... she did admit to being extremely tired trying to balance both careers. This was a refreshing comment for me, as a fellow mompreneur I can completely relate with.

You see celebrity on TV pushing everything under the sun, but this didn't feel like that. These were 2 very genuine people concerned about everything.

I am excitedly preparing myself to read her book, The Honest Life, and my kids already are using the Honest Strawberry toothpaste and the baby wipes. The cold season is coming and I am officially stocked with the natural lip balms which my kids will get a ton of usage out of. But most of all, it was nice to meet the most personable Jessica Alba.

Squat-it like it's HOT!

Exercise!

I don't like to talk about exercise because I am not winning the battle to get it done. I have a ton of girl friends who are moms and are kicking fat's ass. I am not one of them.

It's hard to admit but after giving birth to 3 babies this might be the heaviest I have been post baby for all of them. I had lost a lot of weight after my 3rd was born, I even got to a weight lower than I was pre-baby... but then life happened (poor excuse, I know) and I got off the bandwagon so bad that I am now here.

I can tell you everything the weight loss gurus do about how it's about taking care of yourself, if working out then you have more energy, you live longer, you do this better, you do that longer, sex is this, playing with your kids is that... but the truth is I don't know how to schedule working out because if I get a free moment in the day it's being spent taking care of my business or the kids. And now adding writing back to the mix (ohhh and how I missed the writing.)

But my size, way to big to write down, isn't going away any time soon and well I don't want to be that person. I don't want to disappoint myself to the point I feel like weight is my failure. I am looking for all ways to try and do more at home where it doesn't take huge moments out of my time to be with the kids if I am not working my tail off.

So welcome the squat challenge, it trolled across my facebook a while back, and I started it then and got distracted again... but today I vow to do it. For me, for my jeans (they cost a lot they should have a say if I can get into them) and well for my girls.

If you want to join along with me, I'd love the company. Share your progress with me, I'd love to know when you did them in the day, morning or night, did you do them in one sitting or during the day?

Wish me luck, my ass deserves it.

Overwhelming October!

Fall has been here for a bit over a week and October has graced our front doors, but October seems like the Overwhelming month to me.

You relish September, because the idea of school starting and signing the kids up to all kinds of programs, but it's not til October arrives and your calendar is chalk full of plans, because you assumed that you'd have all the new program figured out and October would be a fine time to bring back extracurricular activities.

We are all planning Halloween, as a mom it's double important, I have to go around the whole city to find the most perfect costumes for my girls, my husband becomes crazy excited about decorating for Halloween, and this year we are toying with the idea of a Halloween party. But add Canadian Thanksgiving to the mix and there are 2 major events on the ballot.

I have 2 events to attend, work related projects and a mini jaunt to another city. All while still balancing mom-hood and being an entrepreneur. Sadly I also think I will be missing the majority of Toronto Fashion Week. But I had a banging end to September and am looking forward to what October has to bring.

~Cheers!

Over at SuburbanTourist, I was asked to give my take on Fall. It's a fun little piece with thoughts from a bunch of different bloggers.

And ViewTheVibe did a feature on my husband and I, also another cute read. Hope you enjoy.

Otherwise I can appreciate a beautiful Fall day, the crisp air, the flush cheeked girls running on the street playing with the neighbour kids and the cutest little layering outfits on the kids.

Does your pasta have a sexual orientation?

ItalPasta has released a picture in Social Media supporting all sexual relationships, I think the ad is cute and comforting. They did so in retaliation of another brand's CEO who reportedly stated he would rather Homosexuals eat a different pasta brand and not his.

While it's nice to see people, people of influence defending those who are seen as minorities... but when does picking sides as a brand get to much?

Should we care if Pasta companies, Diaper brands, Alcohol brands have opinions about anything that happens in our own homes. I would prefer to think NO! When you go into a store and are using your hard earn money you hold all the cards in the transaction. As a mom, I know my money plays a huge role in how companies thrive, I have 5 mouths to feed... I have 5 bodies to dress, that means my spending and all other families spending play a huge role in how certain brands do.

So now, I get CEOs are people and they have opinions. But as a business owner myself what does my opinion have to do with my product, truly NOTHING! I don't want someone coming into my house and having an opinion on how I live my life. As a business owner, I also have to watch my Ps and Qs; I do so as a mom... I wouldn't say or do something that would offend my children or to cause them any hostility in the playground.

Isn't your business your child, should businesses not be fostering a happy healthy growth. I am not saying we shouldn't advocate something or stand up for a cause we feel passionate about... but under the same cloud of if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all, shouldn't we take stances were we will be doing some good, if nothing good can come from making a statement or social commentary why make it at all?

I will not support brands who advocate hate, but I'd wish they would just shut up and make a good product. But as I wish they would mind their own business... I guess so will I.

Fall Bucket Lists... and finding time.

Cute bucket list found on facebook- no source

 

It's late at night and I am finding myself refilling the laundry machine for the 3rd time tonight... hey they say you waste less energy if you do your loads pass midnight. So here I am awaiting the last load, sifting through the items to add to my Fall Bucket List.

Fall is a huge time for any family, it's a monster time of year for a business owner. Fall season preps all of next year for the business owner in me, the mom in me is trying to balance getting the girls to all their programs and add all the school items to my calendar.  School pictures, signing up for ballet and Greek classes added to the to do list... Curriculum night, lunch box options, new shoes, new jackets as well.

I await the next season with excitement, like New Year's eve, it allows me the opportunity to do better, to get more done, to accomplish more and offer my girls more. I tend to disappoint myself because I never get half as much done as I would like in my head. But it gets so exciting about the idea of what can get done this time around, this season's full of possibilities.

Fall has a specific smell, a crispness that can only be found when you drive across the city and you see the abundance of North American trees changing into vivid colours. And while living in such a remarkably beautiful city during this season all I can imagine is the smell of cinnamon on everything, baked goods adding warmth into our home, faux fur throws on the couch, the perfect pair of lined jogging pants from Roots, the sounds of apples crunching, apple butters on my pork chops, the girls jumping through leaf piles and of course a warm beverage from Starbucks (bye my beloved Frappucino.)

In a constant attempt to be a Super mommy, I put together a bucket list. Better than a to-do list, because there is no shame in not accomplishing it, but gratification if I could throw it into place to get an item marked with a big fat checkmark. A little moment of bliss, a little needed mommy accomplishment.

Counting your successes!

 

I decided to get pregnant with my eldest in 2006, my mom had been extremely sick and it was a decision I didn't take lightly. I had given up a really great job opportunity for a paid internship in NYC to be by my mom's side and the jarring ideas of it could have been her last conversations with her, I was compelled to have my first child.
 

2 children later, I was consumed with being a mom and anything and everything career wise had taken a huge backseat. It ate at my soul, I wasn't good at being a stay at home mom, actually I'd even say my husband could have been a better stay at home parent. I was unsatisfied, unhappy and feeling generally unsuccessful.

My first day as a mom

But there is something that having children and wanting to raise them to follow their dreams does to a mom... It makes you a success seeker. I kid you not! I have had many conversations with various moms who all attest to being propelled into finding a passion and being more in their community, their business or their personal entrepreneurial journeys than they could have ever imagined previously to child bearing.

There is a measure to success moms' feel when their kid comes home with good grades, trophy after a game, speaking a second language fluently... but deep in your heart you know that success is your child's. But I forgot how awesome the feeling it was to measure personal career goals... like the highs you felt in High School when you received a perfect mark, when you hit a milestone with your girlfriends (first to get their driver's license, first to get their ID to drink.) You hit your 20s and forget how those personal successes feel... But then you become a mom and it's as if your sense of heightened awareness kicks in.

You want to push harder when you are doing reps at the gym...

You want to create your own business and mold it and fold it to grow...

You want to hit more sales, more leads, more income...

You might even want to accomplish decorating a cake, cooking like Julia Child...

But you enjoy counting your successes.

You understand how hard it is to push yourself and you appreciate yourself more. Why because not only did you do it, did you give 120% of yourself to get it done (because you genuinely enjoy giving it your all, all of a sudden) but you can pat yourself on the back that you got it done while balancing a household. You did while trying to be a kickass mom. You did while being tugged in 10 different directions. Sure you could have done all these items equally well single, childless but it would have been easy and you wouldn't have given it much thought.



Me working back stage after our first runway show.

But now you get to relish in every detail of it all. You get to sit back and your coffee tastes a bit better, that glass of wine is far enjoyable... because you earned it. You are a success. Tomorrow you might wake up frustrated with something, anything, everything... but today you are awesome.

Count it, relish in it... it's important to count your successes! 

To blog, not to blog...

It's been eons since I posted and here is the nitty-gritty of it all...

After my 3rd baby was born, I had established a new career path for myself, I started my jewellery business. I am very proud of Niki & Lola as it has filled a void of accomplishment I couldn't have had working 9-5 for someone else. The successes have been many in such a short period of time.... 

BUT...

I miss writing, I miss sharing and I miss exploring who I am as a mother. Blogging was always cathartic for me. It was an honest portrayal of who I am as a mom balancing being a downtown mom who works and breathes fashion, while being the mom who wants to bake and get dirty in the sand with my kids.

So to this I am revisiting Mommy Doings, and many changes are coming up; many exciting changes that I can't wait to tell you about.

*and my 3rd is running not walking around.