GPS??

Is your personal GPS working? Have you let the batteries die?

I was reading a couple of great blogs (Fabbrunette and PinkofPerfection) about your future and where you see it, how to get there and the work involved. And I think with instant gratification that we get with this instant world we live in, I have lost the ability to envision my perfect future.

I feel like here we are, and we need to get somewhere... you don't have to work to get it anymore. Pop in your directions and little GPSs figure out a way for you to get there. But have you ever gotten into the car and not known where you were going at all? Like you have no where to go and you don't know where to go. The internal GPS has no direction for you, because there is no destination.

But here I am working on so much of me, working on being happy, being healthy, being successful.... but I don't have a destination. I don't have a life visual in my head. You daydream? Ohhh come on we all do, it's healthy it's gives you moment of reflections on ways to stop and reroute your personal life vision of your own future even destiny.

Destiny.... HA!!! I hear all these people who claim everything that happens to their life destiny, I am starting to believe this word was once created for one definition and has transpired into some crazy mystical element of the future that you don't play a role in doing. If you go and kill someone than your destiny was decided at that moment that you are a killer... if you sit at home and do nothing, destiny NOTHING much than staying at home. But if you work hard and make something transpire, you are effecting your destiny. You are not sent on this planet in any realm to become something that has been decided for you--- hey you, yeah you are going to be born and you will become a bank robber, OK great! Next!

But now I am in terms with the reality that I have to do and be what I want to be and do. Now, that's great but WTF is that suppose to be. Like I can envision myself living on Fifth Avenue and being some socialite, sending my daughters to a school that costs what some have as an actual annual income. How about a simple life crafting away in my beautiful beach house in a quite yet affluent town in the south of Florida or California... ohhh please being uber cool living in a fantastic little flat in London, having drinks with the parents of other kids that go to school with my daughters and being some crazy work horse that never stops. What about my Australian fantasy???

But I feel like I can't begin to imagine what that perfect fantasy looks like, I use to be so certain of the things that I wanted. I was dead set about having kids, getting married and so on.... I got those goals done, check and check; but somehow I went stagnate. I am not sure what direction to go? I am nervous about making the decision to decide what to chose, what would be the best choice for my family, for my self needs and my career (which really isn't where I need it to be currently).

Now I am concerned you think I might be making a mini pity party for myself... but I am actually come across a moment of clarity as this 29 y.o. who has found some semblance of clarity and isn't going to sit by willy-nilly and wait for life to hit me in the rear; I want to have a choice in the way it might go down, I want to take control and not allow others decisions to sculpt my horizons.

There are 2 ways I have heard about deciding and working on your own future, and I will share them not sure where they came from but these little quotes are what make me realise there is far more out there: 'If someone was to write a Biography about you when you pass away, what will your chapters consist of? What will they have to write about?' and 'I want to be the one who paints my masterpiece! Anyone else doing it, no longer makes it mine!'

So there are few thoughts to muddle over and ponder, sorry for the deep and insightful blog, just thought I would share!